Friday, August 27, 2010

Welcome to my blog

I am in the middle of two big life changes, and I thought it might be beneficial to record the journey in something slightly more public than my journals.  The first big thing is that I recently entered into a relationship with my best friend (and former boyfriend) of 10+ years.  This is a crazy big change because since my last breakup (with someone who didn't even want to call me his girlfriend), I had been loving my independent single life.  I finally had a better grasp on who I was, and swore that I'd never get married, have kids, or even live with someone.  I value my solitude too much. 

However, everything changed when my now-boyfriend, whom I will refer to as F, was there for me at the ER when I was having an asthma attack.  We had dated off and on through college, and had always cared about each other, but the timing had never been right.  Until now.

Although I am insanely happy, I still have my reservations.  What happens when things get tough?  What about when we fight?  Or if we don't fight, is that bad?  Will things ever get boring, and if so, will I want to break up with him for something more exciting?  Will he convince me to move to the suburbs?  And most importantly, how do I retain the sense of self I've worked so hard to find, while being part of a couple?

The second big change hasn't happened yet.  In less than a month I will be starting grad school for a counseling program.  I will go from working full-time to part time, and it's going to be a challenge for me to make sure I schedule regular hours for studying so it doesn't take over all my free time.  And no, 2am cramming doesn't count! Also, the program has promised to "change my life" so we'll see how that goes.  I'm expecting a lot of growth and some tearful nights.