Friday, October 29, 2010

I heart Ingrid Michaelson

F left today for Las Vegas.  He will be gone for 10 days.  I'm really looking forward to my weekend-long date with my Tivo, but I know by the time he gets back I'll be missing him a lot. 

I don't have any Halloween plans, mostly by choice.  I'm in the minority here, but Halloween is just not my favorite holiday.  You'd think since I'm kind of crafty with the knitting that I could put something together, but unfortunately that doesn't translate to sewing/costuming.  On top of that I'm usually pretty broke (or cheap) so am reluctant to buy something I'm only going to wear once or twice.  Maybe I would like Halloween more if someone would just hand me an already made awesome costume for free, but that's not gonna happen.  Passing on the parties means that I'm going to spend the weekend alone, but I'm ok with that.  I need to do homework and hang out with my lovely self for a while, because my normal study days (Mon & Tues) next week are being taken up with appointments and a class for work.

Yesterday I had my midterm evaluation for my counseling class.  I was so nervous that I wasn't going to pass because you have to retake it if you get a B-, but I'm doing okay.  It was such a relief!  I have a B+ right now.  My TA said that my responses can be hit or miss, but when I hit them I am brilliant!  I think I just need to work on getting comfortable with the counseling responses and that will free up my brain to process what my client is saying better.

After school F and I went to the Ingrid Michaelson concert.  She is amazing!  I love her music, but I especially love her shows.  She is really personable onstage and tells these funny stories between songs.  She did a couple covers as well, including Toxic by Britney Spears (complete with a dance) which was kind of painful and hilarious at the same time.  She closed with a rocking version of her most famous song, The Way I Am and that was a great way to end.

After work today I am going to stop by the train station to book tickets for San Francisco!  I tried to do it over the phone, but apparently you have to redeem gift certificates in person.  Amtrak, you do know this is 2010, right?  Oh well, at least it's sunny out so the walk will be nice.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

What is normal?

I just want life to feel normal again.

I'm going through this huge period of change, and while nothing is actually wrong, I fluctuate back and forth between being irritable and upset to feeling like I'm out of breath from running to catch up.

The relationship is taking way more time than I planned.  I haven't had any non-bf time with my friends all month, with the exception of an hour two weeks ago.  I love school, but it is a really, really big adjustment.  I throw myself into it on Wednesday and Thursday nights and come out on Friday utterly exhausted, only to have to jump immediately into a slew of social engagements.

I am also still getting used to "our" time and not just "my" time.  I'm realizing that when I get in the car with him on Saturday at noon thinking we'll be back around 6, maybe we won't actually be back until 10 or 11.  We end up running errands, going to dinner, or whatever and the day just gets away from us.

My life isn't entirely my own anymore, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.  On Tuesday that sent me into a panic, but maybe I just need time.  I certainly don't want to give up the awesome parts about having a relationship: the cuddling, having someone to listen to the events of my day, having someone to text when I'm out and need a phone number (I don't have a fancy phone), knowing that someone is going to be there for me even when I'm being a butthead.  Not only is F great at supporting me, but his family and friends had showed me nothing but kindness and love.  I have never had this many wonderful, caring people in my life at one time, and while it is amazing in a lot of ways, it can also be overwhelming.

Breathe.  Just breathe.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The best is yet to be

Oh goodness, I feel like I've been picked up and swept away by some crazy force.  With the exception of a few hours on Monday and Tuesday, I feel like I've pretty much been moving along at the whims of other people for the past two weeks.  Most of it was good/fun stuff, but I am anxious for my life to feel like my own again.

I am still adjusting to school, but enjoying my classes immensely.  I got my first paper back last night and I got an "A," which was a relief since I'm a bit rusty on the paper writing. 

It's been birthday-palooza around these parts lately.  Oct. 2, F and I had a joint birthday party.  It turned out to be a bit more wild than I'd anticipated, but I had a great time.  I had never thrown a house party like that and it turned out well.

Tuesday was my actual birthday and I hit the big 2-9.  I am trying to embrace this last year of my 20's and not worry about things like getting old and all that.  Despite some bumps and bruises, life seems to keep getting better each year, and I plan on continuing that trend.

F was very sweet on Tuesday.  He took me to dinner at my favorite vegetarian restaurant, and then we had pumpkin pie blizzards for dessert.  His present to me was a suitcase, which he filled with sheets (I had almost bought myself some over the weekend), pens for school, and a gift certificate for Amtrak.  We are going to take the train to San Francisco after I get done with this quarter, hang around for a few days and maybe visit my high school best friend, and then fly back.  I am so excited because it's been about 3.5 years since I took a real trip vacation, on a plane and everything! 

The weekend was super busy because F was dog-sitting and we went to a wedding.  We were together from noon until around 10-11pm running around doing things on both Saturday and Sunday, but F had to be with the dogs overnight.  Even though we had spent gobs of time together, I found myself really missing being close to him.  Luckily I got to sleep over on my birthday and it felt extra nice because I had missed it so much.  I normally don't like to cuddle while sleeping, but I did that night.  It is kind of amazing how in the beginning I was so resistant to the sleepovers, and now if he doesn't stay at least once a week I definitely notice his absence.

F's birthday is today and I'm looking forward to dinner with his family and surprising him with his presents!