Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Moving in together lists

Things I look forward to:
1. Having him around
2. Coming home to him in the evening
3. Sharing a bed (cuddles)
4. Possibly getting a new, nicer bed
5. Getting to know each other in a new way
6. Less expensive living
7. Someone to cook for/share food
8. Someone to cook for me and help me with chores when I'm busy/stressed out
9. Not having to say goodbye so much
10. Not having to drive to see each other
11. Someone to notice if I don't come home (like if something bad happens)

Things I am scared of:

1. Changing the dynamic of our relationship: finding time to be away from each other instead of time to be together
2. Fighting over chores
3. Seeing the not-sexy stuff on a daily basis
4. Taking each other for granted
5. Sorting out money issues
6. Less freedom
7. Less alone time
8. Getting bored of each other
9. Adapting my schedule to fit his
10. Negotiating small life details

Monday, December 27, 2010

As things progress

Things have been getting more serious lately with F.  I thought I would be more freaked out, but actually I'm ok. 

As I've mentioned, we took our first trip together earlier this month.  It was six days of almost nonstop togetherness, and it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd feared.  We hardly fought at all, even when stressful things happened like not sleeping on the train and getting lost trying to visit my friend in the suburbs.  About halfway through the trip I had a cranky episode from all the activity, but I got over it.  I know I could have had some alone time if I'd requested it, but we had packed our schedule with things to do together so it didn't really make sense.  The thing the surprised me the most was that despite our awesomely fun days, I'd find myself looking forward to the hour or two of quiet time we'd have together in the hotel room before bed.  It was nice having him around but doing separate things.  Usually one of us would be on the computer and the other would be watching tv, or in my case, knitting.  Then we'd go to bed at the same time and I got kind of used to having him there at night to cuddle with.  It was weird sleeping alone after we got back.

The other big thing that I've mentioned was that I bought my first car.  (I should have known I was doomed dating a car guy...it was just a matter of time.)  However, it's not quite that simple.  I can't afford a car + extras by myself, so F added me to his insurance and is paying it.  That way I only have the loan and gas, which is doable.  It only costs him $50/month to add me, while getting my own policy (not ever having been insured before) would be way more.  He has to be on the title for the insurance, so technically it is both our car, even though in the event of a breakup it will be mine (we wrote it out in a contract).  Also he is planning on storing it at his house when I don't need it so I'm not tempted to get lazy and use it all the time for every little trip.  I still want to be a walk/bus person most of the time because it's good exercise and better for the environment.  The car is mainly for things I can't do by bus very well, such as going snowboarding or visiting my parents in the suburbs.

It seems inevitable that we will move in together at some point, it's just a matter of when.  Our leases are up in the spring.  Originally I wanted to wait until my longer school break in September, but after recent events it seems that I might be okay doing it sooner.  I still have my same old fears, though.

Friday, December 24, 2010

What are you doing for Christmas?

F is joining me tonight at my mom's cousin's for Christmas Eve.  My mom's side has always done their big gathering the day before Christmas so that everyone can do what they want on Christmas. 

On Christmas morning I will go over to my mom's for breakfast and presents with my 4 parents and two brothers.  It always  makes me happy that even though my parents have been divorced for over 15 years, they still care about each other and about us and are happy to spend holidays together.  I am also thankful that my stepdads are open minded enough to be okay hanging out with their spouses' exes.

This will be the second time ever that I have not slept at my mom's on Christmas Eve.  The first time was two years ago when we had a huge snowstorm that prevented anyone from driving.  Christmas Eve and breakfast were consolidated into Christmas dinner instead that year.  I am a little sad about not staying at my mom's, but I feel that I'm getting a little bit old to sleep in my childhood bed.  It is pretty uncomfortable.  My brother is home from Boston so he gets the nice guest bed.  And now that I have a car, I have my own transportation in the morning.  I think I will spend the night with F instead because I don't want to wake up alone.

In the evening I will join F at his parents' house for Christmas dinner.

It means a lot to me to be spending the holiday with my loved ones, including my boyfriend.  For the past 3 years I tried to get my ex to come to my family gatherings since his family was in Utah, but he was never brave enough.  I'm glad that F is, and that he loves me and wants to be a part of all aspects of my life. 

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A December to remember

December has been so eventful!  I finished my first quarter of grad school with a 3.6 (a huge relief), went to San Francisco for my first real vacation with a boyfriend, and bought my first car the day after we got back! 

Here are some pictures from our trip:

We rode the train there and flew back.  It took 23 hours and it was fun up until bedtime.  It was pretty impossible to sleep because it was extremely turbulent and noisy.  There were lots of pretty views though, and we had fun playing games and having a meaningful conversation about moving in together.

An adorable kitty snoozing at Fisherman's Wharf!

Most of our trip was foggy like this, but it made for some pretty pictures.  It also was a bit warmer than Seattle, which I appreciated.  I was able to downgrade from my snow jacket to my spring/fall windbreaker during the days.

This was taken at the Exploratorium.

The cable car Christmas light tour.

Gingerbread house at the Fairmont Hotel...

...which apparently tastes very good!

Nothing says Christmas in California like lights on palm trees!

Postcard perfect picture coming back from Sausalito on the ferry.

One of my favorite things about San Francisco is the cable cars.

And of course we couldn't forget the Golden Gate Bridge!  The sun finally came out on our last day.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

It gets better

I've been quiet lately because the universe has been testing me.  It's finals at school, work is crazy, my friends were having crises, it snowed (yeah, yeah, Seattleites are wimps, but seriously the city shuts down) and there was a family holiday in there too. 

I have to say, I'm not very religious (having a gay father makes one a little anti-church), but sometimes I feel like something is watching out for me.  It's almost like it's saying, "I'm going to test the shit out of you, but you'll be ok.  There will never be more than you can handle."  Just when it feels like I'm 2 seconds from hiding in the bathroom huddled in a ball crying for the rest of the day, things start looking up. 

So instead of reliving all the crap, I'm going to write about the good things.

Yesterday was a nightmare, but then I went to class and it got so much better.  I really love school.  I got a paper back, and my grade was 14.5 out of 15.  The instructor had given me nice, thoughtful comments.  I appreciate how he really reads our work and provides good feedback instead of slapping a grade on it and calling it done.

The second awesome thing was that I had a huge guidance unit project (like a lesson plan for counselors) due last night.  Before turning it in, we got to take 10 minutes to share what we did with a small group.  When we rejoined the class, the teacher asked if anyone had seen anything noteworthy in their group.  Well, one woman in my group raised her hand and shared about my project!  She praised some of my ideas in front of the whole class!  That gave me super warm fuzzies and made my day!

I just have 2 more days of class, and then I'm on winter break.  I am so excited for my trip to San Francisco and going snowboarding!