Monday, May 23, 2011

"This life has been a test. Had it been an actual life, you would have received instructions on where to go and what to do."

I took a good emotional tumble last week.  It had to do with work.  My boss not only rejected my request, but did so in a way that stung like hell and broke me for a while.  

Although I am sensitive, I try to be strong at the same time.  I get knocked down easily, but I don't stay down for long.  Well, this week I stayed down for longer than I'd have liked.  

It happened on Wednesday, and I called in sick to work on Thursday.  I still don't know if I was being a coward or not, but I do know that having a day off to recharge really helped.  And I know that I wasn't a coward in asking for what I wanted, and I was brave to keep asking even in the face of roadblocks.  I saw it through to the end, and I have no regrets about what "could have been" because I did my best.  I think that's important.

I also let my fears get to me on Saturday when I was supposed to go on a bike ride with the guys.  I'm not proud of that.  But maybe being brave twice in five days was just too much.  And maybe that's ok.  

Tomorrow is my first day back after the incident.  I am worried, but I will get through it.  At least my coworkers are sweet and understanding.

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